Joyce Helen Winkler - Online Memorial Website

I can still remember your laugh, that laugh like you were up to no good, getting into trouble laugh. I can still see your face when you did it. I can see you dancing. ahhhh this sucks.

YOu would be so pissed at me for not getting you a valentine.  Like usual I'm late.  I learned it from watching you!!!  hahaha, so happy valentine's day Mom.  It's better late then never right?  r you really not here anymore? seriously?  It might seem like it's been a long time since u left but i still can't accept that your gone.  It's not real.  I'm working for a luxury pet resort, you would love it and you would've brought Harley here if you couldn't find anyone to watch her.  It's really cool.  I've been dreaming about you a lot lately.  They are stressful dreams, I'm usually crying a lot and relive your death over and over again... it still takes my breath away.  We lost so much time together.  I thought you'd be here forever.  I remember one day when I was in high school you were late coming home from work, really late, well ok maybe it was like 2 hours or something... and this was before cell phones (the dark ages).  I thought that something bad had maybe happened to you like a car accident or something and the fear I felt was overwhelming.  I was scared stiff that you would not come home.  I started to think about what if you were dead. what would i do? and I started to cry. A few minutes later you came home and I was relieved.  I'm still waiting for you to come home.... where is my relief?   You were home to me.  You were familiar and safe and comfortable.  Where is my home now?  I don't feel comfortable anywhere.  When are you coming home because I don't like my options here. 

It is almost Thanksgiving and I always loved when our entire family would get together, now there is a missing piece.  It is always hard knowing that you aren't with us but especially hard at the holidays.    You are missed more than ever.   

Joyce,

Today was so hot and humid.  Andrew and I were driving down Route 42 in Washington Township and it made me think of you.  We were saying how it seemed like a great day to go to the shore.   You always loved the beach.  I always think of you and miss you.  I rode by your house a few weeks ago and it made me so sad to think that you were not there anymore.  I always think that you must have your dog with you, Harley.  She was such a pretty dog and I don't blame you if you wanted her with you.  We got a new dog something I thought I'd never do but I think somehow you made it possible for us to get a dog.  She's a nice dog, you would love her. The kids were so sad when Harley died that we had to do something. 

 I miss seeing you.  I know you would stop by just once in awhile but I miss those little visits.  We always loved to drink tea together.  I always remember you saying,"let's have a little cup of tea".  You never realize the things that you say that will stay with someone forever. I still can't believe that you are gone.  It always seems like you are away for a little while and then I realize that you are really gone.  It hurts, I miss you "big girl". Linda

Christmas memories:  My Mom loved the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. She would always watch all the Christmas specials with us. Rudolph, Charlie Brown, Twas the night before Christmas, and Scrooge.  On Christmas eve every year she would give us one present to open and it would always be matching Christmas PJ's for me and my brother.  When I still believed in santa claus we would bake chocolate chip cookies and leave a carrot for the raindeer.  My mom would leave little bits of carrot and crumbs from the cookies on the floor.  My favorite thing was when my Mom would leave a present for me somewhere in the house and I would find it.  Every year picking out our Christmas tree was such a big deal. We would go from place to place searching for the best one.  She was very picky about her trees.  Then we would take it home and decorate it with all the ornaments we collected over the years. My Mom would buy ornaments when she visited special places. Even in the summer.  We always had so much fun unwrapping each ornament and placing it in the best place on the tree.  I had certain ornaments that I had to hang, nobody else could hang them.  We would finish the tree with tinsle and my Mom would tell me a story about how when she was a kid she got in trouble for throwing tinsle all over the place.  On Christmas eve my Mom would read a Norman Rockwell story to me.  We were truly blessed to have such a wonderful Mom.  Every year my Mom would make a Christmas list of things she wanted and she would type it out on the computer.  Even when we were adults she would make this list.  I think it was mostly for herself.  She would have Brandon and I make a list every year too.  We almost always got whatever we put in the number one spot, so each year it was something big and expensive like a stereo, or a gameboy or jewelry.  My Mom and Steve would stay up really late on Christmas eve wrapping presents and arranging them under the tree.  It always looked so beautiful and every year we were amazed at how many presents were under the tree.  When we were done opening them she would place everything in it's box on display under the tree.  I remember always looking forward to having the tree lit up when I would get up in the morning for school.  It would still be dark out but the tree would be on.  She really loved Christmas.  She bought all kinds of Christmas music. The ones she listened to most were Johnny Matthis and Elvis Presley and Alabama.  My Mom always cooked a turkey with stuffing, mashed taters, cranberry sauce and chocolate mousse for dessert.  We would put out the fancy silver and the fancy china and light candles.  We always said a prayer at Christmas dinner.  My Mom always took a picture of brandon and I first thing in the morning in front of the tree before we could open any presents.  Then she would make tea, and hot cocoa for us.  The turkey would go in the oven and we would spend the day playing with our new things. I hope someday I can make Christmas just as special for my children.